i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
