sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize