if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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