I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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