in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
