taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
