hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize