Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
