I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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