i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
