nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
