...so i touched it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize