You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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