Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The best revenge is premature balding
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
