Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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