Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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