Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
