I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
