windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
