Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
