I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
