kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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