How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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