we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
