so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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