Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize