She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
