Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
