Having a random hookup so left but love u
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
