it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
