Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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