well you can't waste a boner
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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