Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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