He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
