How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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