You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
