What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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