dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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