We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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