I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You ate ashes out of my bong
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
