the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
