My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
