Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize