Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
