I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize