He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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