I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
