wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
