I skipped work to stalk him.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
