he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize