the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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