The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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