So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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