left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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