They should really pass out barf bags in church
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
