I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
