Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
