Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think we might need a safe word for this...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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