You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
